The dreaded cardio stations. Nothing speaks volume of never ending boredom than a treadmill with a ten inch TV attached to it. The ellipticals only offer repetitive motion and the bikes take forever to burn off that lunch outing. If there is ever a common pet peeve in the gym, it’s the cardio equipment. Add in the forty year old soccer moms burning three hundred calories an hour (never fails to impress me) while walking slower than they would had they just taken a casual stroll outside in the vast wilderness. Does this sound familiar? Yeah, I know.
Luckily cardio does not have to be so boring. In fact, it can be fun. Very fun. Fun as in the resistance training portion of your workout will be the boring part. Okay, so maybe not that fun, but at least you can do more than just steady state on a machine while trying to zone out to the latest episode of Dr. Phil or that Seinfeld episode you saw for the four hundred and sixty second time since 1998. Actually, I was only seven in 1998 so my only cardio at the time was first grade recess unless you count baseball season but I grew up playing right field. Ah, if only I knew then what I know now: I was meant to be an MVP in the gym. Alright, not the MVP, but the most popular guy in the place.
So how do you make cardio a blast that everyone can have fun doing while seeing the results they want? It’s easy. You need to mix it up and mix it up often. Does your gym have tractor tires? Why not try a tire workout? Do tire flips, take a sledge hammer and beat the brains out of that tire as if it were your boss from work. Yeah, working out gives us the utmost satisfaction. Do you have a rower machine at your gym? What about a stairmaster or Jacob’s Ladder? You can do literally hundreds of different workouts. Here are a few of my favorite and yes, I name my workouts. When you name them people remember them.
A Prophecy of Worlds to Fall
3 minutes for round one, 2 minutes for round two, and 1 minute for round three. Go as fast as possible at each station and your only break is when you are switching stations.
In a circuit, do these exercises: Jacob’s Ladder, Stairmaster, Rowing Machine, Run, Jump Rope around the building (way better than treadmill).
This workout consists of three rounds of two minutes at each station. There are more stations and Sacrificium is longer than Prophecy.
Here is the circuit: Jacob’s Ladder, Stairmaster, Rowing Machine, Run, Battle Ropes, Jump Rope, Sledge Hammer on Tire (you can substitute a Med Ball and do slams with it instead), and finish with 20 Kettlebell Swings.
Ghost Love Score
You start with eight movements. After the first circuit, kick out the eighth movement. Do the circuit again minus the eighth movement and after the second circuit, kick out the seventh movement. Keep this up until you have subtracted every movement. Each movement should take 30 seconds to complete with the only rest being switching to the next movement. Here is my favorite circuit:
Push-ups; Goblet Squat; Bodyweight Row; Kettlebell Swing, Mountain Climber, Burpee, Get-up Sit-up (look this movement up, it’s brutal), Sit-out.
Two For Tragedy
You are going to do five rounds of each super-set:
150 Jump Ropes; 50 Jumping Jacks
100 Battle Ropes; 25-50 Push-ups
10 Burpees; 25 Mountain Climbers per leg
These are merely a few workouts I have cooked up. My cardio workouts tend to be just as fun as my weight training routine. Do you know what this article is saying? Get creative with your workouts! Repetition will always get boring after a few weeks of doing the same thing. Why not try something new for a change and keep things interesting? You don’t need to wait for a cardio machine the next time every single homemaker in your community is walking their two o’clock hour watching Jerry Springer or whatever kind of daytime television is on at that hour. Keep it interesting and turn some heads in the gym in both the weight room and cardio section. See ya later!