My Long and Wary Journey, Part II

I want to fast forward to June 2015, nearly a year after I started writing my first drafts for my budding manuscript series. Little did I know I stood at a standstill, and my own personal image wouldn’t be changing for another two years. Looking back at this pivotal year, I was in denial. I had become so attached to being inside the office of what I’ll call the Weirton Club, I forgot what it would be like to see myself in other career avenues. Furthermore, I had this recurring nightmare I was back in my old gig at a place I’ll call Becks Markets, a local grocery store chain in Wintersville, Ohio. Sure, I thought I’d be in the fitness industry forever and I considered myself lucky to have found my passion at such a young age.
Yet, with being libertarian and gaining a little bit of interest in other ways of life, Paganism, among all, coupled with the fact I like having my opinions known to others without a care in this world who sees them, the itch to begin writing again took centerstage. Keep in mind, as I said in a previous article, I tried to “kill” this part of me back in mid-2005, about a week before I stepped into a high school football weight room. Despite my natural interests and inclinations, I became in denial in this realm, which set off a decade of a “success mirage.” Little did I know the terrible debt piled up. Fitness was my life at the time, and everything, including school, work, lifestyle, revolved around fitness as if I were in some sort of fitness orbit. It’s sad to say I enjoyed this, but the pinprick of writing and creativity started making its way back into the forefront.
In 2015, I felt a shift, but I figured it was frustration for being in one place far too long. I’d been at the Weirton Club since September 2012, and the area never was a hot spot for fitness. So, I made the commitment to myself I would seek out greater options come late-2016, after graduating with my Bachelor’s Degree. I remained in contact with the other trainers at the time, telling them of my impending move and strategizing who I needed to take over my one on one clients and classes.
I remember my boss being livid at the time, as I did this under his nose but without letting him know my days in Weirton were numbered. I was the last person he wanted to see go, but at the same time, the owner was shopping the place and the uncertainty of working under someone else who could change the culture of the club invaded my mind. It wasn’t something I wanted to deal with, especially with a degree in hand, so lining up interviews in and around nearby Pittsburgh became centerpiece.
After attending a few, I found a place in the South Hills in Whitehall I’ll refer to as the Fit Place. With five-thousand members and a denser area, I thought it would be my place to take over from Day One and rejuvenate what had become a waning interest. Remember, I started writing again, reading to hone my writing craft, and exploring different religious avenues in the Pagan sense (though I didn’t really get into this until mid-2017). That said, my experience there was a train wreck. After six hours on the job, I wanted nothing to do with the place, which I’ll explain later in another article. Thankfully, things needed to be picked up over at a club in White Oak, a thirty-minute drive from my new place in Bethel Park.
Blaming bad luck, I escaped to the White Oak Club, and sought a new beginning, or I should say a second new beginning in a month’s timeframe. Not good for the resume, but hey, I’m just taking a passion I ate, slept, and breathed for four and a half years. But the writing and creativity part egged me on even more, especially due to the fact I placed my first draft of manuscript “in the freezer” for a few months while I focused on my White Oak gig. Yet, after a few months of avoiding people in the place and instead opting to read and after a few months begin to self-edit my manuscript, I could no longer lie to myself. Writing had taken center stage, and the thirst for learning the Ways of the Old had superseded my Christian upbringing.
The rest of 2017 did entail a new gig, which has since worked out well, but getting my words onto a screen where people will know how I think and feel about the world, nothing on this earth is more rewarding. They tell us to keep our opinions to ourselves, especially in the work world, but to me it’s just another way to get people to conform. I have one life to live. I’m not here to conform to any societal norm or value. I’m here to forge my own path, or spread the ways of a path long since lost but is again gaining steam. I’m here to change the world, as should all of us.
Look, working a nine to five gig for a bribe that causes us to give up on our dreams isn’t success. If you read my article yesterday, it talks about the Pepsi Guy who took the bribe of a good paying job early on, but it may not have been what he really wanted in life. In fact, if we asked the Pepsi Guy what he dreamed of becoming at a young age, he wouldn’t have said “I want to be a Pepsi Guy.”
It’s like the meme going around of the girl who finished one-hundred grand in debt and can’t find a job versus the man who went to a one-year tech school and found a good paying job. As for me, the man who went to the one-year tech school for a good paying job sold himself out. He’s not changing the world working a job with good pay where his voice can’t be heard. On the other side of the coin, the girl who might be one-hundred grand in debt early on may become successful after biding her time. It’s all about where we finish, not where we start. Sure, I have an Exercise Science Degree, but I don’t believe it’ll make my voice heard in the avenue I need it to be heard.
Which avenue? For one, that libertarianism preaches freedom. True freedom, without the biases of the right and left. For another, I just want to show all who practice the Christian faith what their predecessors really did to their Pagan ancestors, and what they continued to do well into the twentieth century. I want to expose the faith, but in all the ways Christian leaders don’t want their followers to know.

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